The Goblin Starter Experience: Revisited

I still haven’t settled on a new main but in experimenting with a few more alts I decided to try out a Mage again, but this time a Goblin. The only downside is the linear, no options, 13ish levels of questing to get him out of their racial starter area. I really didn’t want to do all of this again but I was enjoying him (despite the robes and no melee) so I kept going.

Going though the Goblin starter experience a second time was a little easier and I even paused a few times to enjoy the best parts and grumble at the worst. I have been better able to see a few of the problem areas this time around and I want to mention them.


First, if you like the Vegas style of Kezan (as I do), then don’t rush to finish it. Once you leave it’s gone for good. I only wish I could come back to hang out at higher levels. I really enjoy these first 5 levels so it’s nice that I can go back on alts anytime I roll a new Goblin just to mess around there again.

The Islands

The questing here is where I started to get antsy again. In my personal opinion the island zone where you wash up on shore should have been close enough to swim (or find a raft) over to the Echo Isles so you could continue on to Durotar if you so chose. This way you could head off to the other early Horde zones if you like or stay with the Goblin Quests. I know this stage sets your character up for joining the Horde but I just feel like it goes on too long.

There are a few bright spots where these quests are interesting or fun but many of them feel like filler to me. You know what? I think they are filler. Between taking Skulzy (my Hunter) though and coming back on Gonzo I played though the Worgen starter experience to check it out as well. By comparison, the Worgen zones were great from 1-13. I never got bored or wished I could head somewhere else.

I think that the content and quests for the Goblin storyline fell short of what was needed to match the Worgen starter experience. As a result the Goblin zone feels stretched by comparison. I feel like there are several quest hubs that I could easily skip (but you have to do them to progress) and still get the best parts of the story. I guess Blizzard needed to add this filler so the two starter experiences dropped new characters out with the same amount of experience. Sadly, the Goblin zone suffered for this.

The Fate of Candy Cane

Then, almost at the very end, there is one quest that actually irritated me. As a player I really hate it that you are forced to kill Candy Cane to finish the Goblin zone. I frankly didn’t care that she hooked up with my old buddy Chip and then Gallywix. She wasn’t a girl you could count on. Gonzo knew that from the outset. He certainly wasn’t going to kill her over it.

It makes me wonder what bad dumping that Blizzard writer had that made them feel killing this NPC was necessary for ALL Goblin players (I am guessing the females have to kill Chip in a similar fashion) to get to get off the island and into the rest of the game. That is somebody with a lot of bitter feelings toward their ex.  I should be clear here that I don’t mind that the quest is in the game but I think it should be an optional side quest and not necessary to progress to the final confrontation with Gallywix. I don’t think Gallywix even mentions her death in the final fight.

With no other option, and to his eternal shame, Gonzo did the quest and killed Candy to get off the island. The real kicker? Candy is a hostile mob but she doesn’t aggro on you. You actually have to initiate the fight. You can’t even lie to yourself that it was all in self defense. I know I sound a bit dramatic here but I just think this particular quest was one of the creepier ones I have had to do in this game.

Gonzo had come to really despise his old assistant, Sassy. She had him by the balls and she knew it. There was no profit in what she wanted and he didn’t want to do it. When he saw Candy standing atop the overseer’s platform in the slave pits he knew she was bad news. He had always known that but she was still special to him. He guessed he was a sucker for a pretty face.

As he approached Candy he gathered bands of shimmering energy around him.

Candy looked at him in disbelief, “Sweetie, don’t…”

Hardening his resolve Gonzo said, “Sorry, it’s just business.”

The fight didn’t last long. Candy was no match for Gonzo and they both knew it. Tears welled up in his eyes as he released wave after wave of destructive force at her. She rained blows down upon them and he let them all land, hoping she would find a killing blow. It never came. He encased her in ice and then lashed out with a final burst of energy that left her lifeless on the platform.

The deal with Sassy was clear. He had to bring her Candy’s heart in payment to get off this island. Gonzo wept over her body but did the deed. Her brought her heart back to Sassy and spat in her twisted face.

“Sassy,” Gonzo said, “mark my words. One day this’ll be you. I don’t care how long it takes but you and your cronies will burn. I will see to it.”

Sassy tested the weight of the heart in her hand. She appraised the little package and looked at Gonzo with a broad smile full of pointed teeth. She blew him a kiss.

There was more to do in the deal, but once it was all settled they sailed for Orgimmar. The first thing Gonzo did when he set foot in the city was hit the bars and get sloppy drunk.

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2 Responses to The Goblin Starter Experience: Revisited

  1. Alta says:

    Maybe Candy’s death would be better if she fought back. Maybe it would be better if the storyline was more convincing. Violence against women is scary, even if it is a goblin and even if her name is Candy. It’s scary even if it’s fictional and it only leaves you feeling a little dirty afterwards. If it makes you uneasy then maybe someone should rethink it. Perhaps the game designers will come up with something that has a better story for this quest.

  2. Tazok says:

    It would be nice if the quest were at least optional. If you want to get off the island you have to do it and that bugs me. I would be happier if the quest were just gone. Who kills their ex boyfriend/girlfriend after getting dumped anyway? It’s pretty messed up even if this is “just a game”.

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